Being Me
by FifiDoll
Summary: Kurt and Finn get into a fight and wake up in each others bodies. What does this mean the next day at school when Kurt's boyfriend can't keep his hands to himself?


**Being Me**

"C'mon babe, don't leave yet," Puck growled into Kurt's neck.

He nipped at the sensitive skin there, marking it more than he already had. Kurt squirmed away and said, "I need to get back. Finn freaks out if I'm back too late."

"Screw him," Puck mumbled, kissing Kurt lazily.

"I don't think he'd like that too much," Kurt teased, staring into Puck's eyes with a lopsided grin.

"I don't think _I'd_ like that," Puck countered, kissing Kurt again. "You're only allowed to screw me."

Giggling, Kurt pulled away from the kiss. "I haven't forgotten," Kurt laughed. "But I really need to go. If I get back too late Finn will tell on me and then you'll _never_ see me again."

"He doesn't know about us," Puck mumbled.

"No," Kurt shook his head, trying to escape Puck's strong arms. "He thinks I'm with Mercedes."

"We could tell him. Maybe he'd understand," the other boy shrugged.

Kurt sent Puck a glare and said, "We can't do that."

"We've been secret about this thing for months now, babe," Puck complained as Kurt climbed off of his lap and stood next to his bed. "I want to be able to kiss you in the halls."

"You can't handle being picked on," Kurt shot. "Last year you would do _anything _not to be on the receiving end of a dumpster toss or slushie attack. It will be ten times worse if we come out right now."

Puck glared back at his boyfriend and said, "You know I don't care anymore."

"Right now, no," Kurt pulled on his sweater hastily. "But when it's happening to you every day, things will change. You won't want to be with me anymore."

No matter how many times Puck tried to convince Kurt they could go public, it never worked. He was becoming frustrated very quickly and _needed_ to convince Kurt it was okay. It had taken time, but Puck was ready to come out to the school as bisexual and what better way to do it than with the fabulous Kurt Hummel as arm candy? "Just think about it, okay?" Puck asked softly as Kurt turned to leave.

"Sure," Kurt replied before turning and walking out the door.

Puck tossed himself back on his bed in frustration. Kurt wasn't going to think about it –he was going to think of reasons why they shouldn't and that was it. He knew how the guy's mind worked after dating him for three months.

Kurt sighed and climbed into his Navigator, trying to push him and Puck's conversation to the back of his mind. If they came out to the school, Puck would get picked on and break up with him. It was as simple as that; Kurt knew how Puck worked. He was all about being the "cool guy" and the "badass," screw the consequences.

Even speeding across town couldn't get Kurt home fast enough. He crept downstairs, hoping Finn was asleep, just to find the boy in their basement bedroom glaring at the stairs. "I can't keep covering for you, dude," Finn shot.

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispered. "It was only ten minutes."

"You now I suck at lying and your dad always makes me tell the truth somehow," Finn explained. "I don't know how he does it and it really freaks me out."

"Please don't tell him I got back late," Kurt pleaded.

"No, dude, you can't get me to cover for you every time you're out late with people. It's annoying," Finn replied.

Sighing, Kurt said, "You don't understand."

"Yes, I do. You like spending time with girls and spending your dad's money on ridiculous sweaters and then expect me to lie to our parents about it. I don't break the rules, so you shouldn't either," he grumbled.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "You know I'd do the same for you."

"You don't get it, Kurt," Finn interrupted. "I don't break the rules because it makes me feel like crap. You wouldn't know what that's like, though, because you get away with breaking the rules all the time! I'm sick of it!"

Kurt glared at his step-brother and said venomously, "You really don't get it, Finn."

"Yeah, well maybe I don't want to!" Finn growled.

Angrily, Kurt stormed into the bathroom to begin his moisturizing routine, all the while fuming about his stupid step-brother and how he didn't understand anything. Finn snuck around enough with Quinn (Kurt wasn't stupid…he could tell they were back together the minute he was back at McKinley) to know that sometimes it was better to keep secrets. But no – all Finn saw was a selfless, conscience-lacking gay kid with no respect for his father, apparently. It was ridiculous. By the time Kurt went to bed, Finn had already shut off the lights and fallen asleep if his snores were any indication. Crawling into bed, Kurt tried to calm down before slowly drifting off to sleep.

When Finn woke up, he felt strange. His blankets were different and when he rolled over, the weight of his body seemed different. Confused, he sat up and looked around, disoriented. He wasn't looking out at his usual view of his room – instead he seemed to be in Kurt's bed, staring over at a sleeping form in his own bed. Had they switched beds when he was asleep and he hadn't noticed? Looking closer, he saw _his own body in his bed_. Completely freaked out, Finn leapt out of bed and scrambled over to…himself and waking him up. "What the…?"

When Kurt looked up to find himself staring at himself, suffice it to say he was more than a little shocked. "What the hell is going on, dude?" he heard himself say.

Kurt was absolutely confused. "I don't know," he replied, but jumped at the sound of Finn's voice coming from his mouth.

Standing up, Kurt stared at a newer, higher view of the room. He held his hands out in front of him disbelievingly. "There is no way…" he trailed off.

"What's going on!" a panicked Kurt (well, Finn) asked.

"We've obviously switched bodies," Finn's nervous voice spoke Kurt's thoughts. "I don't know why, though. But…I don't know how we could possibly change back."

"Let's hug," Finn hyperventilated in Kurt's body. "Let's hug and maybe us touching will make it all switch. Come on."

He held his arms out and Kurt moved forward in his awkward new 6'3" tall body. He pulled his own body into a hug, but nothing happened. He was still towering over himself, weirded out beyond belief. "We have to go to school," Kurt said. "I think…I think we just have to deal with it. After school we can Google how to fix this or something."

Finn nodded and said, "Okay. One day as you. I can do it."

Kurt raised an eyebrow and Finn made a face. "Don't do that with my face, dude," Finn said from Kurt's body. "It makes me look ugly."

Kurt wanted to make some sort of remark, but decided he'd better train Finn instead. "First, you need to wear an acceptable outfit," Kurt instructed. "And you can't say 'dude' or anything boyish like that. All the girls are going to hang off of you so _don't_ act like a straight boy, got it? If you get slushied, retreat to the _girl's bathroom_. Now…what was I going to wear today?"

It looked strange to see Finn rifling through Kurt's many clothes like it was second nature to him. Every time he would pull out a button down or a harness or pants Finn would make a face in Kurt's body. "Okay, well, it looks like I'm going comfortable today," Kurt sighed in Finn's body, pulling out a sweater, a shirt, and some skinny jeans. "Here," he held them out to…himself. "Wear these."

Kurt walked over to Finn's dresser and found jeans and the only reasonable sweater he owned (it was light gray with a lovely collar that _almost_ looked dignified, if it hadn't been on a tough jock exterior). In the bathroom, he tried not to restyle Finn's hair too much and stared in the mirror, dissatisfied. He was having trouble pinpointing what exactly he used to like about Finn.

Back in the room, Finn struggled Kurt's body into the skin-tight jeans before pulling on a gray long sleeved shirt. He looked fine the way he was, but Kurt insisted on the hole-filled, knee-length black sweater to go over it. It looked cozy and warm, which made Finn want to wear it, but it also looked girly, which made him not want to wear it. At least he was in Kurt's body so nobody would make fun of him – or wait, they would. He was in _Kurt's body_. Finn sighed as he picked up Kurt's bag and called, "Let's go! I want to avoid the dumpster toss!"

Kurt walked out of the bathroom in Finn's body and said, "You can try. Usually Karofsky beats me to it daily."

Finn frowned and followed Kurt out to his car. It was strange seeing his own body behind the wheel, even though Kurt would never _actually_ let him drive it. When they got to school, Finn got out of the Navigator and looked around. It was strange seeing things from four inches lower than usual. He watched as his body walked further and further away, meshing into the crowd perfectly like Kurt was _made_ for his body. Slowly Finn trudged towards the school, avoiding the jocks surrounding the dumpster that were staring at him. "Hey lady face!" Azimio called.

Finn's heart sank in his stomach as a jock he didn't know the name of tugged at his arm. He stood in front of the dumpster, heart racing, as a timid looking freshman took his bag and tossed it next to the dumpster. Karofsky turned Finn and grabbed him under the arms, his hands touching (wait, was he _caressing_!) Kurt's chest as he lifted. Moments later Finn felt himself landing on a giant piece of cardboard. Sighing, he waited until the jocks were gone before sitting up.

Being in a dumpster sucked and he felt bad for _ever_ thinking it was okay. It was so humiliating, not to mention it smelled horrible. The feeling of having so little control over his body was unnerving, and the way Karofsky touched Kurt's body was _especially_ weird. Finn struggled to get out of the dumpster, Kurt's lanky body uncooperative and awkward. "Hey babe," a familiar voice said, reaching a hand up to Kurt's body. "Sorry I was late."

Finn was totally confused. Why had Puck just called Kurt _babe_? And why did he make it sound like they had a standing appointment. Questions in the back of his head, Finn just took Puck's hand and let himself be pulled from the dumpster. Puck's hand brushed off stray pieces of trash from Kurt's sweater before saying with a mischievous smile, "My favorite sweater."

Since when did Puck have a favorite sweater? Sure, Kurt wore them all the time, but _what_! Finn was absolutely flabbergasted. "We still have time before homeroom," Puck smirked, tugging gently at one of the holes in the sweater.

Confused, Finn followed Puck to his truck, which was parked at the very corner of the parking lot. Puck looked to make sure no one was around before they walked to the side facing away from the school. They were squished between a fence and his truck and Puck's body was flush against Kurt's. Finn's thoughts couldn't keep up in his head and he instinctually turned away when Puck leaned in to kiss him. Did guys always come on to Kurt like this? Especially Puck? "What's the matter babe?" Puck asked, confused.

Finn didn't speak – he had no idea what he was supposed to say. "If this is about me being late, I told you I'm sorry," Puck argued. "Mom made me take Sarah to school today."

That wasn't something totally unusual; Puck's mom liked to spring things like that on him last minute. It was like she found some sort of sick amusement in it. Again, Finn didn't speak. He was still trying to accept the fact that Puck and Kurt were…friends? Is that what this was? He dodged _another_ kiss from Puck and things started getting a little ridiculous. Finn pushed away from Puck and walked around the truck, making his way to the school.

"This is about last night, isn't it?" Puck asked.

Finn was confused – Kurt had been with Mercedes last night. That's what he said, at least. He stopped and turned around. "Excuse me?" he asked.

Kurt's voice sounded whinier and bitchier than he meant. Puck scowled and said, "You still don't want to come out, do you?"

Kurt _was_ out – so what was this about? Finn's mind raced to keep up with the conversation. "I told you I'm ready and you said you'd think about it – so what did you decide?" Puck challenged.

"I can't do this right now," Finn said lamely, turning to walk towards the school.

Angrily, Puck called, "What are you so afraid of?"

Finn didn't reply. Instead he raced towards the school, desperately searching out his own body in hopes of getting some background. He had no idea what Puck was talking about and most of all, _he wanted to know why Puck was trying to kiss him_! Just as he spotted Kurt, the bell rang, and Finn had to go to homeroom. It was a good thing that Kurt had his schedule pasted on the inside of his planner, otherwise Finn would have no clue where he was supposed to go.

Homeroom went by just fine, as did first period history, but when Finn got to second period English, things went awry. Puck kept texting him things like 'you look cute today' and 'don't be mad babe' and Finn had no idea how he was supposed to respond. Half-way through class, after Puck had winked at him, _twice_, Finn's hand shot in the air and he got permission to go to the bathroom.

That was the wrong thing to do, apparently. In the deserted boy's bathroom down the hall from their classroom, Finn was swiftly cornered in the handicap stall at the end. His lips were captured by Puck's before he even had time to _think_, and it was the weirdest thing in the world. Puck knew what he was doing, yes, but this was his best friend. And he was kissing his step-brother. It was wrong in so many ways. He pushed Puck away and tried to move, but he was pinned to the wall rather strongly. "Let me go," Finn said lamely.

"You can't be mad at me forever," Puck said defensively. "I'll make you a deal – let's just tell the kids in glee club for now and see how they take it."

"Tell them what?" Finn said.

Puck looked confused for a minute, then realization hit. "Everything," he shrugged. "I'm bisexual, we've been dating for three months…" his fingers wove through Kurt's belt loops as he leaned in and whispered in his ear, "We can even add that we've been screwing for a couple months now if you _really_ want to."

He leaned back to look at Kurt with a mischievous smirk but was only met with terror. Finn's mind had gone completely blank. It was a lot to take in, all things considered. "I can't do this right now," he said, Kurt's voice shaking as he said it.

He pushed past Puck and was thankful when the boy didn't follow him. It was probably for a reason, though, because second period was about to end and next they had glee club rehearsal. Nervously Finn walked into the choir room, finding his own body arguing with Rachel. Well, more like shaking her off rather rudely. "No, Rachel, I'm not into you like that," he heard his voice saying.

Her hands groped for his, pleading to give her one last chance. Finn stalked over to his own body and tapped his shoulder. Kurt gave up struggling to get Rachel off of Finn's body to turn to face himself. He looked frustrated and harassed. "What?" he asked roughly.

"When were you going to tell me you're dating Puck!" Finn shouted roughly from Kurt's mouth. "As your step-brother I think I deserve to know these things!" Spotting Puck out of the corner of his eye, Finn added fearfully, "And make him stop groping me – it's weird!"

Finn's body took on that horribly stupefied look he hated and instantly Finn felt Kurt's face flushing. It was only then that Finn realized the _entire_ _glee club_ was in the choir room, sans Mr. Schuester. Puck looked dumbstruck, staring between Finn and Kurt like they were aliens. "What the hell is going on?" Santana asked roughly.

Most everyone just stared around, confused, between the step-brothers. "I'm not dating Finn," Puck said instantly, looking around at everyone. "I'm dating Kurt."

Puck was confused when it wasn't Kurt, but _Finn_ glaring at him. "Now look what you've done," Finn said dramatically to Kurt.

Everyone in the room was baffled. Finn's body sighed and Kurt began explaining from the oafish body, "When we woke up we were in each other's bodies. Like, switched. I'm Kurt but I'm in Finn's body."

"Yeah, and I'm Finn," Kurt's tiny voice squeaked out.

Quinn let out an incredulous laugh and said, "Stuff like that doesn't happen in real life."

"Yes, it does," Finn's voice insisted.

"I don't believe you guys," Puck said simply, shrugging.

Finn and Kurt both looked exasperated. "You asked me out three months ago when you found me playing piano in the auditorium after Blaine broke up with me," Finn sighed. Puck found it weird hearing the story coming from Finn's mouth instead of Kurt's. "We kissed, then went and ate burgers, which I _wanted_ to keep secret but I can't if I want you to believe me." He stepped toward Kurt (or was it Finn?) and lowered the collar of his shirt and sweater to reveal a bright red hickey. "You gave me this last night when you wanted me to stay even later after curfew than I already was."

Finn stopped talking and looked at Puck pointedly, blushing furiously. Kurt stood with a stupid look on his face – yeah, that confirmed it. They were _totally_ in the wrong bodies. "And for the record," Finn's voice interrupted Puck's thoughts. "Now you can shut up because you got your way."

"I didn't want to do it if you were gonna be pissed…" Puck argued.

"I know," Finn sighed.

It was _so unnerving_ for Puck to be having this conversation with _Finn_, even though it really was his boyfriend. "How are we going to fix this?" Mercedes stepped in. "It's really weird that my boy is…well…Finn."

Kurt scowled at her and several glee club members sniggered. "I don't know," Kurt shrugged. "We tried hugging earlier but that didn't do anything."

"You touching my man?" Puck asked defensively, pointing at Kurt.

He still couldn't get over how strange it was that Kurt was Finn and Finn was Kurt. "No," Kurt said firmly. "But it's really weird that you're dating my step-brother, dude."

Kurt's eyes went wide and Finn glared at him. "If I ever hear that word come out of my mouth again," Finn shot threateningly.

Kurt smirked and said, "Dude. Dude dude dude dude dude." Pause. "Dude."

"You're an ass," Finn shot.

"You guys need to stop fighting," Brittany spoke up.

Everyone turned to the blonde, surprised that she of all people had a response. "She's right," Artie shrugged from next to her. "It's probably some sort of reversal magic triggered by a fight," he said nonchalantly. It was like he was talking about the weather or something. "You guys need to resolve the fight you had right before this happened and then you should switch back."

"It may not happen immediately," Sam added. "In this comic book I read it took them falling asleep again to switch back. If that's how you guys switched when you were sleeping, then solve your fight and go to bed. When you wake up you should be yourselves again."

"Dude, I am so glad you're a nerd," Kurt said to Sam.

Sam looked proud but Finn's glare bore down on Kurt dangerously. He stood with his feet daintily perched together, a hand on his hip. "Don't stand like that in my body," Kurt's voice said.

Finn smirked and said, "Then you need to apologize and stop being such an ass."

Kurt glared at him and said, "Okay, so I get why you were hiding things and having me lie to mom and Burt, but why couldn't you just tell me. I'm your step-brother, dude."

Finn's glare intensified and he said, "I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want Puck to get made fun of. Besides, you wouldn't have handled it well."

"I would have…" Kurt's voice piped in.

"This is really confusing…" Brittany commented softly from the side.

"You wouldn't have, dude," Puck added. "I've known you since kindergarten. You would have flipped shit."

"Fine, so I probably would have, but this is worse," Kurt's body shrugged.

Sighing, Finn's voice said, "Okay, so next time something important happens, I'll tell you. Deal?"

Kurt nodded and Finn did as well. Problem solved. "Okay, now you guys need to go take a nap and switch back so I can get my mack on with my boyfriend after school," Puck said quickly, shoving them out the door.

Mr. Schuester looked at the club curiously as he entered, but didn't ask any questions. They tended to act strange and he'd learned to just deal with it.

Kurt stirred on the uncomfortable nurse's office bed and rolled over. Spotting his favorite sweater draped on his arm, he sat up straight, a wide grin on his face. "Finn! It worked!" Kurt exclaimed, pandering over to his step-brother's bed.

The nurse raised an eyebrow at him and he said, "I feel better."

Sitting up slowly, Finn became aware of his surroundings and said, "Yeah, me too."

They bounded out of the nurse's office and down the hall, just in time for the final bell of the day. What kind of nurse let people sleep that long anyway? Kurt stood, his bag over his shoulder, waiting anxiously outside Puck's last class of the day. Puck approached him hesitantly. Kurt grinned and Puck asked, "So you're actually Kurt, right?"

Kurt nodded happily and winked at Puck. "Thank goodness," the mohawked boy said with relief. "I think I scared the shit out of Hudson when I kissed you earlier."

The thought of Finn's reaction proved endlessly funny for Kurt. He giggled the whole way out to Puck's truck at the images in his head. He tossed the keys for his Navigator to Finn when they found him in the parking lot. Finn stared down at them stupidly before looking up at Kurt. "I'm going to hang out with my boyfriend," Kurt called happily.

Finn gave an uncomfortable smile and nodded, turning to the shiny black vehicle apprehensively. "You sure you trust him with your baby?" Puck asked as Kurt climbed into the driver's seat.

"No," Kurt shrugged. "But I don't care. My dad will hurt him worse than I would if he ever wrecked it."

Puck just laughed as they tore out of the parking lot; the sooner they got to Puck's, the more time they'd have to fool around before his mom got home.


End file.
